lihan
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allison

Coding/Design: Yours-Tragically
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If it'd make you feel happy, I'd paint you the skies and dot them white -- the stars for your sore eyes. I'd sketch you a world where happiness grew on trees and everything was hugged in pastels. I'd colour you a world full of life, joy, where the word misery was as fleeting as bliss is in ours.

I would create them all for you, the motifs flowing from the pencil grasped in my hand. I say I would, but I guess I can't anymore. I can't draw.

Why do you work hard in school?
So I can get a good career.

What career do you want?
I have no idea.

What do you want to do with your life?
I don't know.

Do you have any idea what you're doing?
No.

Labels: nicolee

Day 18: A kpop idol you wish was your younger sibling

Rahh. This one is hard because most people in kpop land are older than me. I guess Janie frm GP Basic? Because she's like.. eight? LOLL

---

Feeling less shitty today. I'll credit that to looking at impressive photography for a few hours. Augh. I very much regret getting the G11, but whatever. I'll work with what I have. Financially, my family isn't doing amazingly and I doubt they'd approve of me getting another camera in the near future. Understandable, but I still like to complain.

I very much want to purchase 'Something Beautiful,' but I'm still not eager to drop $116.

Inspired, I went around my house looking for some white walls and a good light source. There are only two rooms that have them, my parents room and the family room. Except I can't move huge glass cabinets or a queen sized waterbed on whim.


I prefer to fill my life with photography, it's more pleasant and gives me a sense of purpose to life. It also makes me feel more sane.




I'm also having a minor "who am I?" crisis as previewed in the previous entry.

Labels: nicolee

when i heard what you had said, i felt myself give a bitter laugh:

welcome to reality. (:

picture by Zhang Jingna; my favorite photographer of all time and role model.


Day 16: Your favorite k-pop lyric (and a translation)

I gave you all my all
I believed you so I gave you my all
But you threw that away
I gave you my everything
So I'm gonna be okay

- Without U by 2PM

Day 17: A k-pop idol you wish was your older sibling
Choi Siwon or Heechul!
I always wanted a brother x:

---

I'm too frustrated. I'm struggling to be more than I am for the first time and am realizing... it's hard. Is the rest of my life going to be like this? Do I want the rest of my life to be like this?

I have a dream. It's not realistic nor is it intelligent, but that's the beauty. It's my dream.

I'm not realistic or intelligent so it's appropriate anyways.

// EDIT: I don't remember with whom I had this conversation with, but I recently had a conversation regarding the topic

"If you were given fifty dollars, what would you buy?"

I would buy Something Beautiful. Literally.
click
Isn't it gorgeous?

If I had a hundred dollars, I would spoil myself and get the spiffy hardcover and signed edition.
click
Why? Because I'm her fangirl. Literally.

Rahh. I'm torn between saving up for a SLR (which I'd probably get.... in a few years? T__T) or just spilling my money away on the nice things in life. Decisions, decisions...

Labels: nicolee

Hm blogger does not like FF very much I guess. I suppose I'll stick to Safari then. D:

So I kind of don't like you. But it's okay cause we're "friends"~~
And I'm a ~*~*social butterfly*~*~ hahaha no.

I like how you take things you never knew and ideas that weren't yours and make them your own. That's cool too. Love you. JOKES.

I got a new sweater today. It's grey. Like all the rest of my monochromatic clothes~ (:
But I like them.

I'd rather have nice clothes while I'm still young than when I'm old and decrepit.

Dear Nicole; am I scaring you yet? I know you don't like ~*~*social butterflies*~*~*~*~
haha jkkk love youu.

School tomorrow. FML. My eyelid has been swollen for a longgg time now. FFFFF WHY WON'T IT GO AWAYY.

Labels: amy

Day 14: A k-pop song that makes you smile
A song calling for you - SS501
Lalalalaaa <3
Such a happy and upbeat song



Day 15: A k-pop song that reminds you of someone you miss
Man man ha ni - U-kiss
Best line ever: YOU MAKE ME PISSED OFF.
Augh, I'm a very complex child.

---

Finished my costume, working on my AP Gov. Rahh. Pisses me off. I DON'T CARE ABOUT ROLAND BURRIS AND HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME. T___T

Was going to go to badminton in Lisle today, but we read the schedule wrong and missed it. Oops. Works out better probably. I have a lot of hw left *cries*



And once again, I have nothing to say.

Labels: nicolee

Day 12: The very first kpop song you ever heard
Girl's Generation - Girl's Generation; One of the few good self titled songs.

Rahh. I loved this song/mv so much that I even showed my preppy friends.

Day 13: A kpop group you dislike and why
...Wondergirls. Which is ironic since I saw them live, but I can't stand their "quirky" sounds. Blahh. They suck. The end.

---

Less doomseday feeling today. Just tired. Haven't gotten to sleep in due to dance practice, which kinda sucks but I actually enjoy it. The song we're doing now is Boom Boom Pow and the dance is much more fun than Lupin was *inner groan*

Got my sewing machine fixed so progress on my costume is less... horrible. Yes, that's the best word. Also got some shady looking "yellow hair spray color." I should've just gotten a wig, but wigs are so much more expensive rahh.



I have nothing more to say.

Labels: nicolee

So I just realized America is missing out on a lot. Growing up, we always cracked jokes about how crappy your country is (no offence, sorry!) Those were some good times. I can't say I'm completely grown up, but I guess I'm still very Canadian and very patriotic and I want to go home some day. (:

Instead of rewriting my physics notes and studying I've been reminiscing. I guess maybe I'd share some:

1. Spelling - colours, neighbour, traveller, centre, defence
I love using these words purposely on my papers just to see how my teachers will react. Granted, it's probably not very smart, but heyy, it's how I grew up (: I actually don't use 'defence' very often (ironic because I like to write 'offence') but growing up I did go through a lot of turbulents with spelling --Teachers who wanted you to write "favorite" and others who wanted you to spell it "metre".

2. Pronunciation - I honestly didn't know I said things funny 'til I moved here. I guess you always learn new things.
Apparently I say "sorry" funny? That's too bad cause it's a staple in my diction. And "tomorrow", "borrow" and "lever". I was actually warned about "lever" beforehand but the others were a surprise to me. I tried to think backwards and I remember we sang a song called Children of Tomorrow and everyone pronounced it like I did. Don't know, don't careee. That's just how I'll talk. c:

3. Foods! - Aero, Coffee-Crisp, Caramilk, Kinder Surprise, POUTINE, ketchup chips~
Deliciousssss. I can't believe you guys are missing out on all of these. I loved loved Aero and Coffee-Crisp. Damn, those were basically mandatory at Halloween. Delishh. Poutine is self-explanatory~ ;)

4. TIM HORTONS - is the best. Seriously.
You need to try it. I <3 my Timmy's. Especially when we went skiing in the winter and you'd burn your tongue on the hot chocolate and it wouldn't taste so good anymore hahah. Ohh and timbits! YUM.

5. Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice.
I generally get the feeling that people like Canada more than America. Thinking back, I felt like Canada was more accepting. Gay rights, religion, you name it. Damn, I miss that place. :'c

I guess there'd be a lot more but maybe my outlook's just kind of obscured since I'm Canadian after all. There's no place that'll ever replace it in my heart. Sorry America. You just won't do. (:

Day 11: Your favorite kpop music video

Supergirl - Super Junior M!
This was my obsession freshie year (;

--

Did you wear purple today? If you didn't but weren't aware I'll forgive you, if not.. probably not.

In respect for the recent suicides due to gay abuse, people were asked to wear purple today.

I don't care what your beliefs on homosexuality are, but this is such a solid cause. It's not for or pro gay rights, it's not about gay marriage either. It was simply a gesture to honor innocent individuals who were abused due to their sexual orientation.

In a nutshell, it was an event to promote tolerance.

And lots of people didn't participate because "gay people go against nature."

Even if you're a homophone, do you advocate blatant violence against homosexuals? Is that what your religion calls for? That wasn't even the point of the event. It was simply calling for a respectful environment for people to live.

You preach for a glorification of god and act pious in your life, but you're just as damned as me.

god tells you it's not natural? god tells you that you should harm those people?

That's no god, that's no entity worthy of praise.

I'm not agnostic; I'm not skeptical about believing in your deity. I'm positive I don't believe in your god.

Labels: nicolee

Day 10: A kpop dance you'd like to learn

Lucifer! (:

---


I'm annoyed. hgakghk. Need to watch above video to calm me down. Rahh.

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. - Mahatma Gandhi

 Hypocrisy. It's what makes the world go round. All religions preach tolerance and love, yet they're all the same. They kill, they enslave, they deny, and punish.

I'm not against faith. I have no problem in people believing in a deity. But the irony of religion is that religious individuals persecute people of other faiths.

• Who started the Crusades?
• Who started the Spanish Inquisition?
• When is the last time there's been an atheist bomber?
• Who imprisoned Galileo?
• What organizations supported proposition 8?
• Who spoke out against the imprisonment of Japanese by the American Goverment?
• Why do people oppose interracial marriage?
• Who do people oppose same sex marriage?
• Why were Jewish people killed in the Holocaust?

The very idea of religion seems contradictory to me. Why must people group together to practice faith?
It's the same as a cult. A brainwashing cult. Actually, it's the exact same. Possibly, even more extreme.

What has religion done to our world?

 History has shown us it is human need for us to gather with those of similar faiths; history has also shown us our intolerance for those of differing views, beliefs, and priorities.

I have family members who are homosexual. I do not believe they should be stripped of any rights belonging to any other individual. I do not believe they should be treated differently. I do not believe they should be feared.


No God created humans. Such a creation could only be the word of a devil.

Labels: nicolee

Day 9: Your favorite kpop performance

Doesn't get much better than this (;

---

Rahh. Nothing much to say. Just trying to get to the weekend. In school we're reading Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer. A lot people regard Chris McCandless with much disdain (probably because we have to annotate the book. That automatically makes it hated...) but I find him a pretty respectful individual.

He knew what he wanted in life and followed his dreams. How many of us can say that?

Labels: nicolee

"metro, work, sleep"

but more like
"sleep, school, homework"

5 more quizzes/tests to go. 2 more days. i can do this.

i really can't.

Day 8: A kpop song you know all the words too

Time to Love - T-ara & Supernova; I lovelovelovee this song.

----

Tired. Tired. Tired. Went to bed at 3am last night, woke up at 3pm today. Theoretically I'd be supahh awake right now, but alas... AP Gov has sucked all of that out of me.

Just finished my Bio worksheet so I can sleep now yayz!

Labels: nicolee

Day 7: A kpop song that makes you cry

Just Say Goodbye - JTL

Watching you leaving me, I can not help it
I didn't want to show you tears
I'm sorry for my appearance like his
Just say goodbye I won't see you again, will I?
I want to hold you back, but it will be no use, will it? say goodbye
The traces of you around me makes it more harder, I can not fall asleep
I shed our memories along with tears.

 Blahh. A good song, but tainted with lots of bad memories...

--

A tiring day. PSATS weren't too hard, but I still don't think I did very well. My mom picked me up an hour after the test ended so we got into a verbal war which ended (unsurprisingly) with the line, "I'm your mom."

Ah, bravo bravo.
The originality never ceases to amaze me.

Didn't apologize, but she forgave me eventually as my "shitty attitude" disappeared. Rahh. Got the materials to make my halloween costume and I'm in the process of doing so now. MUST FINISH *WORKWORKWORK*

Came back from Allison's anti-homecoming which was fun not too long ago. Always nice to spend time with some lovable people, but I actually think it would've been more fun to go to homecoming with them. Or maybe not, since my mind was a bit blank with lack of sleep and PSATS.

I'd love to sleep now, but I must finish the bulk of my costume tonight. Pray I don't stab myself with needles, yes?

Labels: nicolee

Day 6: Your favorite kpop song from your favorite kpop girl group

I LURRRVEEE Girl's Generation.

Does that make me a weirdo? (Don't answer that).

They were actually the first group I was interested in as, one day while randomly flipping through the channels, I saw them performing their song "Girl's Generation" <--quite the original title, eh?

Whatever. It was a good performance and a good song.

SO TO CONCLUDE, my favorite song from them would *probably* be "Girl's Generation," but I've liked all of their promoted songs. And their normal album songs. I like pretty much all their stuff actually...

--

Homecoming assembly today! I really enjoy seeing all the talent in our school perform. It's supahh amazing how much diversity and skill can be found in one school. Tragically, the majestic aspect of the show was horribly tainted with the fact that I had a HAA test immediately after the performance. And I left all my stuff in my bio class. Which is on the third floor.

SHITSHITSHIT. The minute the show ended, I literally to my bio room, begged a teacher to unlock the door, grabbed my stuff, and ran to my math room. At normal walking time, that would normally take me around twenty minutes. I did it in seven? Rahh so tiring.

Today in health class, we learned about stress. The basic principle is, when you get stressed out, you stop thinking. Basically. *STRESS STRESS STRESS* 

Sprinting around the school = lots of stress

I have absolutely no idea how I did on that test since I'm fairly certain my brain wasn't exactly functioning. There was a lot of multiplication and division we were to do by hand and my mental math abilities are absolutely nothing to brag about. To be more precise, my math abilities are nothing to brag about.

Which is also why it sucks that the PSAT is tomorrow. I had my entire Saturday planned out. I would go to breakfast with my mom so I could go to a used clothing store, cheap clothing store, then a halloween store so I could get materials for my costume. But then I remembered the PSAT. STUPID EFFING TEST. RAHHHH.

I should sleep to prepare for the test, but I got back from badminton not too long ago and my hair is still wet from my shower.

Tralalalaaa

All I'm thinking about is what I want to eat for breakfast tomorrow.

Labels: nicolee

i love how my mom tells me i'm shit, i'm stupid, i'm going to get a C in physics, i will never get into any decent university and i suck at art without even using the straightforward words.

that's cool too.

i'm sorry i suck at everything, i'm not smart, i don't work hard, i'm going to fail in life, i'm spoiled, i'm going to die sooner than everyone else.

screw the psats. i'm going to fail anyways.  CAUSE I'M STUPID. AND I SUCK.

Labels: amy

Day 5: Your Favorite kpop song from you favorite kpop guy group

2PM- Heartbeat / Without U
SHINee - Lucifer / Jojo
Super Junior - Super Girl / Only You / Bonomana / Sorry Sorry

Ahh. I don't really have any favorite songs from my favorite groups. They consistently make amazing songs so how could I pick a favorite? (;

---

You give love, You get love.

Don't whine about being "misunderstood," the world sees you almost exactly as you act. If you don't believe people think accurately of you, why don't you try to change how you act first?

BLEHH. I'm tired of people having issues about deep shit. To be fair, most of the time I don't get it. At all. So many people issues...

"People are only mean when they're threatened" - Morrie Schawrtz

 Be nice to people and it'll amaze you how nice people will be. Try damn it, try harder. You don't have to be everybody's BFF, but there's no reason for you two be arch enemies either.

I promise being kind to others will make you happier too.


Rahh. I'm frustrated at humanity and society.



Here's my challenge to you, my dear reader: Give at least one compliment a day. That's it. If you think a somebody has a nice shirt or is pretty, don't just think it. Tell them. Make somebody's day, spread the love, I challenge you.

Labels: nicolee

Day 4: Your ultimate kpop girl bias

WHY WOULD I BE BIASED TOWARDS GIRLS WHEN I CAN BE BIASED TOWARDS TAEMIN??

Rahh. But I actually don't know? x: I pretty much like all girl groups equally except for Wondergirls, whom I dislike, and the leader of Rainbow, whom I also dislike. The rest are all pretty equal since they're all pretty, good at singing, and good at dancing.

But since dancing is my bias as of now, I'll just say Minzy from 2NE1 and Hyoyeon from SNSD!



---

Despite [asian] failing my AP Gov test, we got to do corrections in which I was able to earn back 4.5 points. A meaningful amount when the test is out of 60, yes? This week seems to be edging by and the entire school is so hyped up for Homecoming it's almost scary o__o. An emotion that seems unfamiliar for me since I'm not hyper or looking forward to it at all.

Homecoming smomecoming. I could care less. It's fun getting dressed up and all (I guess?) but I just want to spend time with my friends. So rather than force myself to go with a group of people I'm not really tight with just so I could "experience" homecoming, I'm going to an anti-homecoming party with Allison. This is also a plus since I don't even have enough money to buy a ticket for homecoming OHMYGAWD I'M SO POOR.

My expensive summer purchase has left a rather deep indent of emptiness in my wallet so it's a good thing my birthday is coming up. I NEED CASH YO. Birthdays are fake holidays we've created to celebrate. Such is true, but celebrating isn't ever a bad thing, especially when you're receiving gifts since everybody loves getting gifts. I genuinely like giving gifts, but that proves rather difficult when I'm counting money by the coins. Hopefully my family relations haven't forgotten my existence yet and will help finance some of my future spendings... whatever they may be.

The one thing I would really love to buy is an SLR. My dad told me to get a prosumer camera because it's lighter even though I could've gotten a Canon Rebel for roughly the same price. I didn't want to argue with my dad and was itching to simply get a camera to play with so I relented and got the prosumer camera, the canon G11. *bashes head against wall* I shouldn't really complain since it's a nice camera and has served me thus far adequately but an SLR has so much more to offer and would enable me to do so much more....

I'll get a SLR as my senior gift.

"Waiting is such sweet agony..."

No idea where that's from, maybe I just butchered a quote from the reservoir of my memory and am quoting something that doesn't even exist. WHATEVER. If anybody ever said such quote, I question their legitimacy to be quoted. Omit the word "sweet" and it immediately becomes more accurate.

Waiting is agony.

I just want to speed through this filler of life, pass go, and collect $200 on the monopoly board of my life.

Rahhhh.

My laptop is overheating on my legs.

Labels: nicolee

Superficial (adj): concerned with or comprehending only what is apparent or obvious; not deep or penetrating emotionally or intellectually

I know dictionary definitions are always a no-no when writing introductions to your essay but I felt it necessary to use the exact word I seem to be abusing at the moment. Superficial. Superficial. Superficial.

The words were like summer on the tongue.

Yes, I brought Dandelion Wine in. However, what I was really touching on was not a delusional 12 year-old boy's "exciting" adventures (that sounds shady) but rather the idea of superficiality. I don't understand why everyone needs his or her own "affectionate someone" in today's society. That's not to say that I am completely radical towards love (though some may believe it). Rather, I firmly believe that there is no logical reason for you to always have a boyfriend or a girlfriend at every living moment of your every living life (what a good thesis statement!)

Today I was talking to this girl, who is a nice person to be around, but a little on the shallow side like a thin, papery substance. I told her that I had heard she was going to homecoming with someone. As she replied no, she followed it up with something along the lines of "why? Is someone going to ask me?" rather excitedly. Obviously, the answer was no. And I didn't really care to pursue the conversation much farther though she continued to ask me.

Which leads me to wonder? Why is the teenage population of today's world so readily obsessed with their superficial "love"? It's not love. It's just a disgusting infatuation with a certain person whom you throw away the next second you see another piece of eye candy. Oh, how deep. What merit! On the contrary: how shallow, what silliness! Why in the world must everyone have a crush to be normal? To always NEED a boyfriend or girlfriend? To go to homecoming with a date? To put your trivial goal of having that other person over your friends?

Why is it the norm now, to dote over a relationship based on nothing but the 2 seconds you just met in?

The world confuses me. And I confuse myself.

1. I love reading fanfiction. Mainly manga fanfics but I've recently started reading Howl's Moving Castle fics. Aww so good x3
2. I like cosplaying. But a hugeeee pet peeve of mine are bad cosplayers. I'm not that beast myself, but if you're 5789572894 pounds and dress up as your favorite character, you're just ruining the character kthnx
3. I notice when people say 'like' after every word. Like this you like know like?
4. I'm super hungry right now and devoured some pizza gold fish a few minutes ago
5. I love Taemin  

Labels: nicolee

you killed the layout.
or at least in ff anyways. way to go. look what kpop just did D;

you bad person.

today i did sort of kind of well in the psat thing i took from the book. it would make my day if i did well on the bio test too.

i kind of want my facebook back. kind of. sort of. actually i really do.

Labels: amy

Day 2: Your favorite kpop girl group

Girl's Generation/SNSD!

---

My mind went numb after doing AIC homework until 1:30am. I had to read an excerpt of Henry David Thoreau's story 'Walden' and translating it to [understandable] English was.. not fun....

I didn't slave away on that for hours, I just started my homework much later than I should've. 8'D. Oops. I a lot of time looking for a 2PM download and spazzing. 2PM's comeback was better than I expected ~





...Which doesn't really say much since I was expecting it to be horribly bad.

The positives:

• Nichkhun's rap
• Lack of autotune abuse
• Ending gymnastics

The not-so-positives:

• Makeup abuse. Scary guyliner
• What the crap did they do to Chansung??
• Blonde Taec...........
• Running man dance

 Photos with Allison went pretttyyy well. ^-^. Lack of wind was a bit frustrating but whatever. Editing is always fun, but very time consuming x_x

SHIT SCHOOL'S TOMORROW.
Time to finish the rest of my homework *cries*

再见 ~

Labels: nicolee

 


Day 1: Your favorite k-pop guy group


2PM, SHINee, & Super Junior. ♥


--
I had a good day today. :D.

Slept at 3am, woke up around noon-ish so I'm kinda tired x__x. Weekends are for sleeping rawrr. The used clothing store was closed today so I couldn't look for costume materials blahh. Homecoming is next week and after that is Halloween. Didn't have time to get a new dress so I'll just wear one I got in eighth grade nbd. I'm actually much more worried about Halloween than Homecoming, I guess that's a good summary of the kind of priorities I have hahaa.

Tomorrow is Columbus Day so we get school off.

"Hey guys, let's celebrate the day Columbus came to America, claimed it his, and destroyed the indigenous people!"

I feel a smidge bad, but a day off is a day off so YESS. I'm going to take some pictures with a friend[s?] which should be fun since it's my first photoshoot-ish event. I originally wanted to make a dewy, spring shoot but since the leaves around my house have already turned an obnoxious shade of yellow and are shedding like crazy I decided to make a fall theme instead.   

Impending doom: I am now starting my homework.

Rahh goodbye !

Labels: nicolee

I'm glad I met you.

Labels: amy

01 → My family

02 → My friends

03 → Music

04 → Photography

05 →Art

06 → Hayao Miyazaki films

07 → Animanga

08 → Food. Especially sweets *drools*

09 → The Hunger Games // Howl's Moving Castle

10 → Life


Can you tell what the list is about?
Not in any specific order, it's my top ten loves. (:

Labels: nicolee

As a kid, I tried almost every sport under the suburban sun.
But one thing I never tried that I so *sorely* regret is that I never tried dancing.

Rahrah.

BEAST are so funny x3. The first 3/4 of the video showcase their pure skill. When doing what they love, people really emit a different kind of aura, no? ...and then the last 1/4 of the video demolished that cool image they built up HAHAA.

2PM's new album is coming out soon, but I'm not that excited. Ah, I'm such a bad fan. I think a lot of my dread-ish feeling is that I doubt it'll be as good as 1:59 PM :x. The new album is going to be called STILL 2:00PM.

Oh JYPE, WAS THAT SERIOUSLY THE BEST YOU COULD COME UP WITH?

Miss A's comeback was atrocious. It was like they were trying to be another Wondergirls. Ew ew ew x6.02 x 10^23. If 2PM starts sounding "quirky" and "fresh" <-- euphemisms people use to describe the horrible noise jype has recently made
I will be very, very sad.

SHINee's 'Hello' was cute 8D.

i lovelovelovelove my music <3

random note// I'm also rereading Howl's Moving Castle. My favorite book EVAHHH. Hehe it's good stuff.

& That's all dearies ~ (:

Labels: nicolee

I think I failed that math test. And the physics test.
I'm not smart nor do I work very hard.

I guess I deserve those 2 B's.

But somewhere inside of me, I'm not ready to be annihilated by my parents.

Sometimes I wish I started with a low GPA and made my way up so it would look better than my high one falling down like a little blue rocket tumbling from the sky at 9.8m/s^2.

Labels: amy

FUCK YEAHH.
everything feels good.
sophomore year is going 55432759 times better for me than freshie year.

just had a honors advanced algebra test.. and owned it (;
granted, there's a pretty large chance i actually misread everything and totally failed it
BUT FOR NOW i'm going to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment.

some people say, "ew. who studies for math?"
here's the answer: i do.
and guess who knew all the material?
hahahahaaa.
i'm bragging, deal with it. > __ >

the ironic thing is that people look at the kids with good grades and say, "wow, you're smart"
more accurately, the kids with good grades are the ones who got tired of being stupid and decided to change themselves.

i hate studying; i hate feeling like i'm being turned into a nerd wannabe

but the feeling of accomplishment is amazing.
i study, i get better grades.
it's amazing how i couldn't figure this out freshman year.

in comparison to a lot of other people, i'm not really doing that well.
truthfully, it's frustrating comparing myself to all my smart friends.
taking my GPA against theirs.
but i think i'm more than a GPA, more than a test grade
and reducing myself to one doesn't make me happy at all.

i will do my best, whatever that may be.


tralalalalaa ~

life is good.

Labels: nicolee

Good bye weekend, hello school.

Well, there goes my B in physics and math. It was nice knowing you. I guess I shouldn't complain about being dumb or not getting enough sleep, because some people would be jealous of the amount I sleep and my GPA. I wish school started later for everyone. I wish I was still in Canada where I was smart and everything was come easy go easy.

I wish I didn't check iParent 24/7.

I wish I wasn't so materialistic.

I wish I could still draw. And paint. And do everything I once could do. I wish I could still swim or run or do something useful instead of whining here on this blog which I said I wouldn't do.

I wish I was still the child who was under the cap of innocence and therefore in bliss.

I wish I was home.

I had something else to say, but I forgot.

Labels: amy

"Today was a day like any other..."

except for the fact that it's Friday, which makes it automatically better than any other weekday.

Project "Be A Better Student" is going well enough for me, but it's a lot of work.
i find it truly ironic how society scorns the nerds and fawns over the gangster slackers.

getting good grade's isn't about genetics, it's about how much you work.
[/insert long a detailed rant about social sterotypes]

my gawd those piss me off. especially since i'm fulfilling the stereotype now /flails

i'm tired.
i don't make sense when i'm tired.

anyways, aside from the crushing responsibility of being more intelligent than i am, school is going well.

 key idea: the more of an academic life you have, the less of a social one you'll have

on one hand it's nice because there's not really any drama, but on the other hand things get boring.
my life is boring.
i'm realizing why i was never <b>the nerd</b> before.
it's hard, and i don't think it's really worth it.

h o m e c o m i n g !
it's coming up soon, but a lot of my friends don't want to go?
and if they don't go... friends from another school can't come?
oh, great.

as much as i respect my friend's choices to be intellectual hermits, it's really frustrating how anti-social they are sometimes.
i don't want to miss out on my highschool experiences, but how can i experience them by myself?
or am i being selfish?

brheahv erkjhv.
don't they miss having fun?
do they even have things they enjoy?

i think i'm beginning to understand why nerds are never the cool kids.

Labels: nicolee